STILLBIRTH OR LOSS OF A PREGNANCY.
The loss associated with a still-born baby is particularly traumatic for parents. This is due to the suddenness of the loss and the confrontation with death when there is an expectation of a new life. This may leave parents overwhelmed by grief and their relationship under extraordinary stress.
The couple may doubt their capacity to survive the trauma and function as an enduring, creative couple. The couple may try to protect both themselves and each other from their intense feelings and retreat from a painful togetherness.
How does this type of loss affect a couple?
Parents often experience a range of feelings including:
Shock / numbness / confusion / inability to think.
Sorrow and helplessness.
Guilt/recrimination e.g. “I/we/they should have…”
Anger e.g., towards those who are felt to have failed to protect the child.
Shame/remorse e.g., at their inability to prevent the loss.
Profound sadness e.g. I cannot bear living without my child.
Anxiety e.g. Are other successful pregnancies possible?
Feelings of failure or inadequacy.
Envy of others with children.
Blame / Frustration
This can result in each seeing these responses in their partner while denying them in themselves.
Seeking Help
Penthos’ team of couple therapists specialize in helping parents manage and overcome the grief, stress, and trauma of losing a child or loss of pregnancy.
Penthos was established to provide grieving parents with no-cost therapy.
If you would like to discuss this further or set up an appointment you can do this through our contact us page